The man I'll be

Someday has become an interesting concept for me. It lies out there beckoning but it never arrives. It just lies out there in the future happily taking on all my ideas, hopes, and dreams. But I never get, or have, to actually meet it.
All I've ever wanted, was to love you and somewhere deep inside me I still do. But it's time I stop believe that you're ever going to change. That man out in the future; that man who lives in someday is the man I love.
Someday I'll be the man I want to be
The man who is stable and dependable.
The man who sets goals and achieves them.
The man who desires more the love of small things than love as a thing.
Someday I'll travel the world by myself and write my stories.
Someday I'll maintain a stable emotional state and stop the roller coaster in my mind.
The man I will be is amazing! Perfect in every way that matters to everyone in my life that matters.
I took her by the arm and said don't leave me. Just give me time I'll be the man you've needed.
The time remaining to do this is running short. The runway ahead is growing short and the space behind is long and littered with debris from the man I don't want to be.
If you wait around awhile I'll make you fall for me.
That man who lives out there, the foreshadow of who I am today, will give you exactly what you need. He can sweep you off your feet with his words. He is charming and endearing. He will walk the world for you and never miss a step. He seeks challenges and methodically beats them down until the mountain they appeared to be is nothing but a molehill. He lives just beyond my reach and I've only touched him during a few momentary affairs when I was broken and off track and had nothing and nowhere to go. I lived those moments like real life dreams. I floated over this life and become the things I wanted to be because the chains of fear, anxiety, responsibility, had been broken if for only a moment. Eventually I woke from the dream and put my chains on again though. Feeling guilty for having taken them off. During those times I was that man. I was someday.
Thanks for listening

A thought

When we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves. – Viktor E. Frankl