Thursday, May 7, 2009

Ramble On

I haven't run all week and I'm OK with that. I caught some kind of wicked cold over the last few days and it's having it's way with me. I made it to work on Tuesday but only lasted until noon. I spent the rest of the day in bed sleeping. When I wasn't sleeping I was eating. Sleeping, eating, sleeping, eating, that's been my life in a nutshell over the last 2 days. I finally came out of it last night and was able to drag my bag of bones to work today. I'm still not 100% but I'm definitely better.

I hate missing work mainly because I have to spend the day I make it back getting caught up with everything I missed. I'm so good at playing dumb that most people can't tell when I'm acting or when I'm actually ignorant about something. It's an art that I've perfected over many years of playing engineer.

I'm hoping to get back in the saddle of work and running next week. I feel like a lazy slug. It doesn't help that I watch many, many episodes of Deadliest Catch while I was struggling to stay conscious over the last few days. Just watching that show makes me tired. It also makes me feel very unworthy to complain about anything. Those guys work their arses off!

I know I'm rambling. I just want to write something though, I'm struggling to fight off my normal post-marathon depression. It hasn't set in but I can feel it coming on. That feeling that I'm not worthy to take another breath, that feeling that I'm a horrible father and person. That state of mind that concentrates on my many faults and can't get over them. I've already got the sad country songs playing in my head (my truck and dog are in trouble). One day I'd like to figure out how to avoid this or at least how to cut it short. I'm going to fight it hard this time.

The Little One is here with me tonight and he always makes me laugh. I took him to get a haircut last week and let the lady get a little crazy with the clippers. The poor kid got peeled! He looks silly but very cute. We're watching Animal Planet, some show about the oceans. He's totally into it, focused and concentrating on the sharks and lobsters. He tells me all about each animal that comes on. I wish I had that imagination! He can see a tiger shark and tell me where they live, what they eat, that they eat people, and that they don't like kelp. All of this just from just watching one swim. His little brain must work so fast. I suppose it's because it hasn't been filled up with girls yet. Got a few years before that takes over.

Thanks for listening


cath said...

you are definatelyon the recovery part of 'the road'...and tell ya what..i'm looking fward to the post marathon will be my first will let everyone know about it...milk it...

JenZen said...

So glad to hear you're feeling better! You can start gearing up for Tulsa soon!! You're going to be overrun by silly girls. I might even wear my Gator shirt if I decide to come. :)

Calyx Meredith said...

Glad you're having some fun time with your son - that should clear up the dregs of the post marathon blues! Hope you have a sunny weekend!

RBR said...

Not the dog! Why do country songs always have to off the dog?

Where are some current doggie pictures by the way? I know, you are all man blog and all, but your readership is almost all girls that want to see that pretty pooch!

Ok, now I am rambling. Great, it is contagious! I hope you are feeling better soon.

Middle-of-the-Pack Girl said...

Willie, from the way you talk about the Little One, I can tell you are a great dad. The fact that he runs and jumps into your arms every night when you get home shows it.

And yes, don't you wish we could hold onto and bottle that type of creativity for ourselves?