Sunday, August 14, 2011

An ice maker

I haven't lived in my current house very long. I bought it last October. It's a cute little house that was built in the 1940's so it has many old-style features that I love. It's all brick and has beautiful hardwood floors throughout. The kitchen is cozily (not sure that's a word) small as is the bathroom. There is nothing big about it at all, in fact, I'd say it's small in every way.

Before this house I lived in a duplex just up the street from here. In fact, I pushed my lawnmower from that duplex to this house so I wouldn't have to put it in the car. It was a charming duplex built around the same time as this house. It was a rental though so it didn't have the greatest amenities.

The thing that drove me crazy for the year I lived there was the lack of an ice maker. After moving in I quickly purchased a couple blue ice trays without a second thought. I figured they would serve the purpose just fine. I quickly learned to hate those blue monstrosities! They didn't produce enough ice to fill my large, post-run drinks and once you used up all the ice you had to wait for hours for more. That was if you could get the damn cubes out of the trays at all. I twisted, turned, curled, shook, pounded, and cussed those things.

I longed for an ice maker. I couldn't afford that kind of luxury at the time so it became a dream of mine. I looked forward to the day when I could get a house with more room, a garage, and not least of all, an ice maker.

My current house has an ice maker. It was here when I moved in. I use it daily. I take it for granted. Oh how quickly we get spoiled! It hasn't been a year yet and already I've become immune to the little things in life again. I HAVE AN ICE MAKER! I should be shouting that from the roof tops and abundantly happy with everything else in my life. If I had the money and time to solve that little inconvenience then I most certainly have taken care of the important stuff right?

Or could it be that I've gotten so caught up in the little inconveniences of life that I'm missing the big stuff? The ice maker was last year's little issue, this year it's the yard, next year who knows and the year after that who really knows? By that time my oldest son will be graduated from high school and off to college. My youngest son will be in middle school. I'll be 2 years closer to losing my parents. And I'll be upset/frustrated/caught-up-in whatever the "little inconvenience" of the time might be.

I will eventually run out of time for my kids and my parents and the other important people in my life but I'm sure I'll never run out of little inconveniences.

I have an ice maker. Life is good. Hope I can remember that tomorrow.

Thanks for listening

Friday, August 5, 2011

On the high seas

So what if I've lost my love for marathons?

Does that mean that my love for them was never real in the first place? Or could it be that my goals have just changed and that the original feeling was genuine but has evolved? Or could it be that I'm just a live-on-a-whim type of person who has no direction in life?

Whatever it is I find myself envying those people who can find a love and stick with it forever. I still love running and I still love the long run but I don't get the joy from marathons like I used to feel. I'm more and more drawn to shorter distances and am enjoying the faster pace.

I suppose a normal person wouldn't analyze this in-depth but I'm not normal. I search for patterns in my life and feel a need for consistency. That need seems to go unfulfilled and the patterns I see are not always good.

But what can a person do about this? Should I force a consistency on myself just for the sake of itself? Thoreau believed that was the "hobgoblin of little minds" and I must say I agree with him but what is the alternative? To live an inconsistent, ever-changing life? If that sounds impressive and interesting to you (it did to me once), I dare you to try it sometime and see for yourself what it will do to your soul. Lacking a consistent anchor in life is a tough way to sail. There are many winds to hitch a ride on but with those winds come waves that can beat you up pretty good. Venturing into the waves is good in moderation but living on the high seas and always changing and adjusting to the whims of a vast ocean will prematurely wear you down.

So I'm going to ride this wave of short-distance running for awhile and hope that it re-ignites in me the love of the marathon. I will, however, still feel a bit of shame in my inability to maintain my first love.

That was a butt load of sailing metaphors! Guess that means I should buy a boat and sail around the......

Better stop that thought before it takes me in a direction.

Thanks for listening