Sunday, January 17, 2010

Coming up for air

I hope to never stop learning in this life that I lead. Fortunately my absent-minded nature provides me limitless opportunities to learn new things about myself.

I would like to write here that I'm not one to be given to getting caught up in things to the point where I don't see the world around me as it truly is. I would love to say that I always keep my head and wits about me. Sadly I can't write these things because that would make my fingers out to be liars and my fingers don't deserve that kind of scorn.

So here's the question I'm struggling with: At what point should you question your wants and desires? It's OK to want something but every now and then you should take a moment to stop and question that desire to make sure it hasn't become something damaging or disruptive. If you've changed your life and attitude significantly as a result of something you want is it a good change or a bad one? It's foolish to not ask these questions periodically and I haven't been very good about analyzing myself lately.

A harsh but effective way to force this analysis is to take away the desire. It's almost impossible for me to do this on my own accord but the object of my desire sometimes forces my head above water to take a breathe of self-analysis. It takes me some significant wrangling with anger and disappointment before I understand how beneficial the loss is but, in the end, I usually end up seeing the light and making some meaningful changes. I'm stubborn and childish that way.

Thanks for listening

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