Tulsa 2010

I ran the Tulsa Rt. 66 marathon last Sunday. This is my favorite marathon for many reasons, not the least of which is because it's close to home but not close enough that it feels boring. It's like a travel marathon without the expensive hotel and plane ticket. I also usually run good at this one because it's the first Fall marathon that I run and the cool weather helps.

I had no expectations for this other than to have fun and enjoy the pain I knew was coming due to my lack of training. I often say that to truly enjoy marathons you need a healthy dose of self-dislike because it makes the pain bearable. Well I knew this one would require some serious pissed-off-ed-ness at old Willie for me to get through. Let's just say I had a lot to draw from lately.

One really cool new twist to my experience was that my oldest clone was running the half marathon at Tulsa this year too so I got to share the day with him. As much as I don't want him to be anything like me I do like having him around because we have so much fun together. He is still my son and I have to get on him sometimes but mostly we share the same sense of humor and enjoy the same things so it's like having a perfect friend. I do hope he gets the running bug.

So my son and I rode to Tulsa with 2 of my best friends who were also running the full marathon. We had a great time listening to Christmas music and chatting about most things running and some things not. I've had some of the best conversations with these people and this time didn't disappoint.

So the marathon was fairly straight forward. I hooked up with the 3:50 pace group at the start and ran just in front of them for most of the race. I figured 3:50 was about the best I was capable of right now so I was glad to see that the pace felt comfortable. It was a beautiful running day which means it was overcast and cool. I love the sun but since I'm out of shape I needed all the help I could get and the overcast was probably good for about 10 minutes off my time that day. I can enjoy my wonderful sunshine sometime when I'm in a better running form to enjoy it.

Here is the thing that got me that day and the reason I needed to write this post. Around mile 14-15 I ran by some fire trucks and saw a man performing CPR on a runner who had collapsed during the half marathon. I had never seen real CPR before and I was shocked. Stunned really. The runner lay motionless on the ground while a fireman was violently pressing his chest in an attempt to save this poor man's life. I had so many thoughts at that moment all of which, I'm sure, were fatigue induced. Had this man just died? Was his spirit hanging around watching this? Did he know he was gone? All these weird thoughts raced through my brain as I continued running. It was as if I weren't really there but I was watching myself see all this. Very, very weird.

I will admit that, although I focused on this site for the next few miles, by mile 18 I had forgotten about it and was concentrating on the pain in my legs and knees which had become vicious by then. I was really feeling the lack of endurance by mile 20. I felt I had the energy to go on and run strong but my legs weren't ready for the beating they had taken and each step was hurting. I knew this was coming so I took it very well and walked a little to stretch things out. I ran when I could and walked when I needed and finished in a respectable 3:57.

After the race I met up with my son and our running friends for our post-race lunch and beverages, not remembering at all the feelings I'd had about the CPR incident. It wasn't until later, when I heard the man had died, that I remembered those weird feelings and I really thought about what I'd seen. I'm not going to say that it was a profound moment in my life and that I'm a changed man because of it, nothing that dramatic or cheesy. It was just an experience that I had and I'm not sure how to take it or what to do with it. As I remembered that scene I was struck with the thought of what this man was planning after the race. Was he planning to meet his family and friends for a beer? Did they have dinner plans in Tulsa? I wondered if he had checked out of his hotel room? All these mundane things that I plan and do around a marathon and I never once stop to think, "what if I don't finish this thing?". That's not something you plan for, nor should you! I suppose it's supposed to be weird and unusual to deal with the mundane things after a tragedy. That's why it's a tragedy. I had just never thought about it before like I did on the race course last Sunday. I wish I could say I am going to contemplate this event and re-evaluate my ways but that isn't me. In fact, it sounds silly just to type it. I had a glimpse into a tragedy and it had an impact on me. What that impact is beyond the ones I've shared here I don't know.

Thanks for listening

My old friend

I have a wonderful friend in the running club who hosts a brunch every year following a 5K that is run very near to her home. The food is always outstanding at this brunch so I always attend. This year I figured I should run the 5K also since I've never run it and I always feel a little guilty about showing up for the food without running.

My training plan has 1 speedwork session every week and I decided that this 5K would fill that requirement so I skipped my normal Tuesday night track session and held off until Saturday morning where I could get in 3, 1 mile repeats with 0 seconds of rest between. Perfect! I had done this before using a free 5K that was held every Wednesday night over the summer months. It was a small affair used by the racing production company to train their new people on the timing equipment. All you had to do was show up and be their guinnea pig and you got a free, chip timed 5k.

My best time at those summer races was a 20:36 which I was extremely please with since I don't normally run 5ks. I was hoping for a similar time this morning but it wasn't meant to be. It has turned cold here in the midwest and my lungs haven't adjusted yet I guess. My lungs got tight around the 2k mark and just wouldn't let me get a good breathe for the rest of the race. My legs felt good but the lactic acid built up quickly since the muscles weren't getting all the oxygen they needed. I ran good, the breathing never got really bad and I was able to finish in 21:05. I very happy with that and I think it still qualifies as a speed workout since I worked very hard to get that time even if the time itself wasn't as good as it could have been. It's all about effort I suppose. It's been a long time since I've had a full-on asthma attack. So long, in fact, that I couldn't find my inhaler when I went to get it. I had to buy one of those horrible Primetine mist thingys. I hate those things! They give me a headache and make me sick but at least they help me breathe.

In other news, I've decided not to run a marathon while I'm in California next weekend. My father is coming to town next week and will be leaving on Sunday so I just can't bring myself to leave before then. So I'll just get in some wonderfully warm runs in the high desert. At least it better be warm. Please make it warm while I'm there. Please.

Thanks for listening

Inspiration Sandwich

I ran tonight. Fast.

I've been reading a book called Inspiration Sandwich to my youngest clone for the past few weeks as a bedtime story. He picked it out of our bookshelf because it has wonderful colors on the cover and it looked like a children's book. After reading many of the chapters I've concluded that it is more of an adult book. Actually an adult-who-wants-to-be-a-child book. PERFECT Willie reading material! Wish I'd found this book years ago. The author's name is Sark and I may be in love with her. She has that wonderful childlike attitude that is so easy to love.

I'm traveling to California (again) for work and am considering jumping into a marathon while I'm out there. I have a link to Marathonguide.com on my desktop right beside my business travel arranger link. Anytime I get notice of a business trip the first thing I do is check for marathons in the area I'm going. I love that! I'm heading to the L.A. area this time and I have work on a Monday so it's the perfect opportunity to travel on a Friday or Saturday and run a Sunday marathon then head to my meetings on Monday. It just so happens that Malibu is having their marathon on the weekend of my travels. I'm very tempted. The only thing stopping me is the $143 entry fee! That's pretty steep even for a late entry. I hope they put wine in their gatorade, and not cheap Boones Farm wine either. I want the good stuff for that price.

I'll keep you posted on what I decide.

Tulsa marathon is in 2 weeks, Memphis in 4. If I run Malibu that would be 3 marathons within a months time. Marathon Maniacs here I come!!

Thanks for listening

Stress

I don't deal with it well.

The 24 hour race is tomorrow. I'm not running it but 2 of my favorite people in the world (besides the 2 little people who resemble me) are and I was very excited about helping them. I want to take care of every little detail for them so they can just show up and run the race. That was my goal but today I ended up being the one who had to be taken care of. Multiple problems arose that were beyond anyone's control and pushed me over that edge of having too many things to do at once and I lost it. I became a blabbering idiot and not a very nice person to be around. I just wanted so badly to take care of everything and it just wasn't going to happen today and I never found the strength to accept that and deal with it. I failed myself today not because I didn't do the things I wanted to accomplish but because I didn't deal with reality well.

I used to be able to deal with these things! But not anymore. No, not at all. No, no, no.

OK, so when I say I used to deal with stress well, it wasn't really me that was dealing with it, it was the medication I was taking that dealt with it. Actually it just made it so I never felt any stress. Wonderful stuff! That is until you realize you're not feeling ANYTHING anymore! No stress but also no emotion, no joy, no guilt, nothing, nada. Couldn't deal with that kind of living anymore so I got myself off them.

And now here I am. Stressed out and pinging off the freakin walls every time I have more than 2 things to do. And you know what? As sorry as I am for failing today, I can't help but be a little bit happy that I actually FELT something! It was real, it wasn't covered up, I FELT it! I don't like that I didn't handle it well but I felt it and I recognize that I felt it and I can learn from this. This is called living. I'm going to do more of it from now on I think.

Thanks for listening.

Comfort

Here I am sitting on my new back patio watching the birds that live in my shrub-like thingy (I'm not a plant person) that is growing all over my back fence. The birds have been nice enough to not care that I moved into their space. They go on with their bird activities without regard to my existence. I like that in a neighbor.

I saw that Starbuck's new theme is "take comfort in your rituals" and as much as I hate to give in to a marketing slogan, I have to admit that I can relate to this one. I'm finally back on a marathon training plan and have now had 2 good weeks of training and I am starting to feel like my old marathon running self. Things are a bit different on the outside now but inside I'm getting those old wonderful feelings of contentment that come from keeping to a running schedule. I never stopped running through the transitions of last year but it was more of an escape from things than a goal in itself.

What I really like (because I'm a complete sap) is that, even though things are completely different now, I can still make those old rituals fit into this new world. I see that as both progress and as a confirmation that those old feelings were real. I lost many of my behaviors (for the better in most cases) along the way but I have kept a few and I hold those few in high regard now. They are my treasures of life that I keep in a special place and, while I may forget about them during the trials of life, will always return to eventually. They are comfort.

I'm training for the Memphis marathon on December 4th. It's a hilly course from what I here so I'm not looking for a PR but most a return to good marathon running. Along the way I'll run the Tulsa Rt. 66 marathon in November as a training run. I'll keep you posted.

Thanks for listening

Pride

The big one ran an Olympic distance triathlon last weekend. That's 1/2 mile swim, 24 mile bike, and a 10K run. Needless to say I was, and am, a very proud father.

I think what I was most proud of was that he hurt a little during the race. I'm always proud of him no matter what he does and I love it when he wins something. What I've been waiting to see is that look in his eyes that says he has earned something.


There's a big difference between winning and earning although the two can occur at the same time. So far in my son's young life I have only seen the winning. That's not to say he has won everything. I've seen his failures too but win or lose it was always something external to him it seemed. It wasn't something that he internalized or became epic to him. It was just something he did. The earning is something that I couldn't help him with. I could give him advice (although he rarely listened) on how to succeed or how to do his best but I couldn't help him get to that place where he worked for something meaningful to his inner soul and overcame the external obstacles and his own internal doubts to achieve a goal. No one can help him do that, he had to do it himself and it finally happened I think.






He is a wonderful kid and I want him to find himself and his inner strength. I hope this was the first step towards that.




Thanks for listening

Diet is important

I spent last week in upstate New York for work. Normally I would be writing to you about all the hills I ran and all the many miles I got in. Not this time.

This time Willie was a bad boy.

A very bad boy.

I was there 3 nights and I ate like crap and drank like a fish each and every night. Couple this with very little sleep (funny how the drinking and lack of sleep always go together) and I was a mess by the time I finally escaped back to Oklahoma.

No running for 5 days and nothing but crap for fuel make for a hesitant body prior to a 10 mile run. It was like dragging your dog out for a badly needed walk in the rain. They know they need to go but just won't step out the door. I convinced myself that I needed a bit of punishment for what I'd done and this shamed me out the door this morning to meet the group at 6 AM for 10 miles. I think I sweat beer and chicken wings all morning in the 85 degree weather. Yes, 85 degrees at 6 AM! It's F-ing hot here in Oklahoma.

I made the 10 miles at a pretty good pace which I attribute to 5 days of rest. It was good punishment and I accepted it like a cowering Catholic School boy doing his penance. I'm hoping this puts me back on track although I'm planning to take it easy for a few days to get back in the groove.

Thanks for listening

Back in the Saddle

Notice the cowboy reference in the title? Yeah, someone got on my bad side the other day by implying that I couldn't be a "man" because I took my son back-to-school shopping while my girlfriend mowed my yard. She likes to mow, I like to shop. BITE ME!

After San Francisco I've been hearing those old voices in my head. You know the ones that start up when you see pictures of a place in the world you've never been that go something like, "I wonder if they have a marathon there?". I even caught a news store the other day that said air fares were extremely low right now and I spent the next few hours trying to find a marathon at one of the cheap fare destinations. Currently I have marathons planned for October, November, and December but I'm desperate to find one in September because I'm afraid a 2 month break is too much! Basically.... I'M BACK! I have that itch again to run. I love it.

During my break from blogging I completely lost that itch to travel and run marathons and I was afraid it was a life change that would last. I try to accept those life changes and see them as not losing something but as gaining something new but it's still hard to chew. I love running marathons and traveling as much as I can but if you don't have the inner drive it because a horrible struggle and just not worth it.

I like being back. My wonderful running club has started their training for the fall marathons. They are only up to 8 miles for their long run but we had over 200 people show up at 6 AM yesterday! These things are growing every year and it's great to see and meet new people. I had a good 8 mile run with my old friends yesterday. Everything on my old body is working well and the heat makes it wonderful to run hard and get those endorphins flowing. I absolutely love finishing a run drenched in sweat to the point that it looks like you just got out of a pool. I don't particularly like my smell while sitting at Starbucks afterward though. Oh well, I suppose that's just part of the experience.

Thanks for listening

Share the Road: A Rant

I've taken all I can take and I just can't hold this rant in anymore. I know a lot of you are cyclists as well as runners so this may offend you but... Why do cyclists think they own every inch of pavement in the world?? And why are they such a-holes about it?

If I've seen you coming at me on your bike for the last hundred yards and have gotten out of your way you don't have the right to scream at me when you finally get your head out of you ass and looked up when you're 2 feet away. I'm sure you were surprised, but it wasn't my fault. That makes you an a-hole. Actually it makes you an arrogant a-hole.

If you're riding side-by-side with you buddy on a narrow trail where it's common for people to be riding and running in both directions it would be nice if one of you would move over when a running is coming the other way. You don't have to, I will move over to the grass to be sure I don't get tire makes up and down my body, but it would be nice.

I love that you yell "on your left" when you pass me. I really do. But please don't scream it and follow it with an insult to my mother. I'm just running I don't mean to piss you off with my presence.

I would never write complain about these things if they were isolated incidents. These three things have become common occurrences on my runs where cyclists are common. I like to think that I don't hold hard feelings towards anyone but I must admit that cyclists are not my favorite people. I've gotten to the point where I avoid them and don't like to be around them not just out on the roads. I hate that and I don't want to feel that way.

Thanks for listening

Finding that balance again

My running club kicked off their fall marathon training today and I didn't make it. It was only a 6 mile run but I still felt a little twinge of desire to be there with the group and get those miles with company. Since my life has changed I have found it increasingly difficult to make it out and run as much as I'd like. I will not complain about this because the reason, or reasons, I can't make it are my children. I love spending time with those 2 copies of me and I would always (and have always) choose them over a run any day.

In the past I've always had a balance between the two desires even if it was a stressful one. I didn't mind leaving the offspring for a few hours to run some miles because I knew I'd come back to them. Now I feel like I must be with them every minute they're here because there will soon be a time when they're not here. That not here time works well for getting those runs in but since it's summer I'm trying to have the kids over as much as possible so the lack of balance is an issue.

I'm not complaining about anything here, just expressing some feelings. I love my kids and I love running and the balance will come I'm sure.

Thanks for listening