169.0

Last week it was 171.3

Two weeks ago it was 175.8

Before that, it hovered around 178. When I say before that I mean for like the last 3 years.

Please don't hate me, I'm not bragging. In fact, I'm not sure how I feel about it. My weight has dropped like all those good habits I've tried to implement over the years. This little tidbit of my life would normally make me extremely happy and I'd be writing things like, "all my hard work has finally paid off", and "wow I can't wait to try out this new toy of a body I've been given". The problem is I haven't earned this. I've struggled with my weight for most of my life and I have wanted to get down in the 160's for so long. I've tried diets and other things over the years and it seemed that I'd never get there. After years of struggling I had come to a level of acceptance that my weight would be what it is and I'd let running regulate it. Now this happens and I have no idea how it happened. Have you ever had a goal that you've worked for and struggled with only to have something happen that basically gives you the goal without much effort on your part? I don't do well with that. I want to earn this, I want to know in my heart that I changed my diet and did the things required to earn the weight lost. Ain't nothin' worth nothin' les you paid fer it. That's my West-by-God-Virginia theory and I stand by it.

I suppose it has something to do with the heat. I'm not going to worry about it because my running isn't suffering. I'll stick by the assumption that if something was really wrong with me it would manifest itself in other ways. This must be a temporary thing.

Total change of gears....

I just finished reading book that I initially had no intention of reading at all. I was in the middle of another book and had a second book lined up when my wife suggested this book to me. I read one chapter and never looked back. I still haven't finished that first one!

Anyway, I won't tell you the name of this book because I'd lose much more of my dwindling man-hood if I announced to the world that I love reading chic/romance/girly books. (That last sentence is not an official admission, I checked with the lawyers). I do, however, want to share with you a particular part that struck me like a ton of bricks. There's a part in the story where some of the characters are making comments about how some people are just silver medalists, they try and try but never seem to get what they're working for. Well it turns out that one of the other characters is actually an Olympic silver medalist! After some initial embarrassment, they continue on their conversation about being second best. At this point the Olympian stops them and tells them they're missing the point. I am probably violating copyright laws but screw it, I want to share this.

"You're missing the point of the silver medal. Yes, I would have loved winning a gold medal in track (He was a runner too!). But I love running. I do it every day because it makes me happy. So, it doesn't really matter if things didn't turn out exactly as I thought they would in my head. I went after the thing I really wanted, and I got it. Just in a different form than I thought I would."

Then he gives this little jewel,

"Fear of failure is an insidious thing. Leads people to pretend they never wanted a medal in the first place."

He then looks at the target of the previous conversation and says,

"that guy knows what makes him happy in his life. And he's balls out about getting it"

Makes me tingle just reading it again. If I could wish for one comment to be made about me in my life, I hope, I pray, that it would be something along those lines. I'd sacrifice all the victories and gold medals I could ever win to have that said about me.

Sorry for quoting someone else, I wish I had written something like that. I try to share my own thoughts rather than stealing from others but when I read that it kind of captured a feeling I've had and put it into words that I have been unable to find.

I've been running good. Easy miles on Monday, speedwork on Tuesday's, long, tempo run on Thursdays, and a good long 15+ miles on the weekends. My pace has been getting faster every week. I'm consistently in the 7's now for all but my weekend long runs. I'm really enjoying my runs too. It's back to the way running should be, show up at the track and just take off running. No pain, no getting through tight muscles, just me and my shoes doing what we love. It's the kind of running that makes you look forward to it everyday. No matter how bad the day at work is I have a good run to look forward to at the end of the day. That's better than any drug or therapy I can think of.

Thanks for listening