Sunday, August 30, 2009

A monumental average run

This was a tough week.

It started out OK. Monday was my rest day so I didn't run at all and spent some time with the kids who had started school and come home with the stomach flu. I wasn't around them long at all since they were sick so I thought I was alright. Tuesday I got back with some old friends and did some hill repeats. They were WONDERFUL! We did 10, 1/2 mile loops with a nice strong hill in each loop. I felt great afterwards..... for awhile.

Not long after I got home that night my stomach started hurting. About an hour after going to bed I was up again. Then up an hour later. Then up again an hour later. Then up again an hour later. This went on for quite a number of 'agains' that night. Totally sucky-sucker-ness and painful-painy-lisky. My body had basically rejected my stomach and voted it off the island. The stomach, however, is firmly implanted in the body and just wouldn't come out no matter how hard my diaphragm tried to dislodge it. I think my liver saw an opportunity to get free of the alcohol soaking I've given it for the last 36 years and it may have come out. Not sure what a liver looks like exactly so I may have missed it's exit.

I was out the next day, Wednesday, recovering from the night before and trying to be the mediator for my organs as they came to terms with each other again. Don't remember much of Wednesday but I know I didn't run, or eat.

Thursday I was a little better but still not 100% so I stayed home and tried not to go crazy from boredom. If you think I'm a bad injured runner I a REALLY shitty sick person! Oh it's not pretty when I get my mind back on track but my body is still not ready to engage the real world again. I hate, hate, hate, sitting around recovering. Yea, I know, you're all totally surprised. SHUT UP!

Friday I went back to work but it wasn't exactly a good day. I was still queasy and had to take things slow. Probably not the best idea to go back but that's probably why I did it. Give me a list of ideas and I'm a pro at finding the one that ISN'T the best choice. Wish they'd had those kind of questions on the ACT!

Saturday was The Big One's cross country meet so I didn't get a chance to run that day either. Not that I would have because I had really taken a plunge both physically and emotionally by then. All the pain of the sickness and the stress of missing work and other things had taken a toll and there wasn't much left of old Willie.

So that brings us to today, boys and girls. I knew I needed to get a run in. I also wanted it to be a long one since it's my long run day. The problem was I knew I was struggling just to stay awake and vertical. Running needed to be done but I was facing a demon I'd never beaten before. I knew there was a massive fatigue wall lurking out there waiting for me. I didn't know where it was but I knew it was there because I had those defeated thoughts like, "maybe I should ease back into this with a 3-4 mile run". What that means in Willie-ease is "You can't make more than 3-4 miles so don't try or you'll get beat." I hate those thoughts. Are they my angel trying to safe me from pain or are they my devil trying to hold me back from something.

You'll be please to know that I put all thoughts aside and went for it. Not in a macho way but just in a "shut-the-hell-up-and-let-me-run" kinda way. I started out around Lake Hefner not knowing if I would make it all the way around but I didn't focus on that. I stayed in the moment and ran each step not thinking of the next.

Then it hit. Turns out that wall was sitting there around mile 3. Now I should describe this wall for you since it's very particular to me. A little over a year ago I discovered this wall in myself and it forced me to the doctor and months of inner struggling that I'm just now coming out of. It sometimes caused me to see stars during runs and basically rendered me unable to continue running. I've come to recognize when it's setting it now and that how I knew I was struggling with this week and honestly I was scared since it's always beaten me before.

NOT TODAY! I felt it coming on and I was able to slow down, stay in my head, and run through it. It wasn't easy. I actually think I got through it by telling myself I'd stop after just one more mile. Well that mile came and went and I actually started running faster!

I kicked that demon in balls and left him laying on the dam road out at lake Hefner! Never thought I'd ever say that.

So that's why I'm very excited about, what turned out to be, an average run. I got 10 miles done in 1:26 which is only a 8:30 something average but DAMN it was the best 8:30 average I've had in a long time.

I know I'm not out of the woods with this thing. I still feel it now but I'm just so happy I got through it once. I may fail miserably next time so I'm gonna enjoy the heck out of this little victory.

Oh, yea, Tin Cup was on when I got home too! Very fitting although I'm a bit too tired to watch it all. Just the thought of it makes me smile.

Ya'll are doing great and I love reading about your running. Can't wait to hear more so keep writing!

Thanks for listening


cath said...

that stomach flu/bug/bollocks sounds awful...glad it can't come through written word,cyberspace etc...
and Congrats on kicking wall-monster in the balls..
your wall sounds weird?..but pretty..stars and all that.
runners have strong heads.
get 100% soon!!!

Terri said...

Nice job on pulling through it Willie. I've been having problems with the wall lately too, and with motivation.

Can't believe you did that after being so sick for those days. Was it the famous swine flu?