Tuesday, May 4, 2010


I've had my moments.

I may not look like much now and I may not feel like much ever, but I've had my moments when I did things that I never thought I could do. Unfortunately those moments span both sides of the line that separates good and bad. Also unfortunately I remember both the good and bad moments with the same level of detail and clarity.

I've run 17 marathons in my running life. There was a time when I never thought I could 26.2 miles.

While I was running those 17 marathons I lost a piece of my life that I'll never get back. There was a time when I never thought I'd ever give that piece up.

I've met many wonderful people in my running life, people I now consider dear friends, people I never would have imagined being friends with before.

I've also lost many friends along that same journey and even made a few enemies. There was a time when I couldn't have imagined having enemies.

This is life. This is my life. I'm living it and I'm learning it. I hate that I've done some things and I wish I could take those moments back but I can't. I also love some of the moments and wouldn't trade them for all the gold in the world. Someday when I'm lost in this world I'm going to remember some moments and they are going to be all I have. My hope is that the moments I remember will make me happy. Maybe that's the sign of a life well lived.

I have many stories to tell about my recent runs but if I'm ever going to get back to writing I need to write what's in my heart at the moment and get it out so it doesn't clog up the channel. This song hit me today and I felt the need to write down these thoughts. It's a start, I'm trying, I've missed it.

Thanks for listening


RBR said...

Hang in there, honey. I know you have had a tough time as of late. It will get better. I think writing is a great way to get it out. When you are ready to write for us, we will be here to listen.

You always know how to get a hold of me if you need a shoulder.

*smooches to you*

Terri said...

You have run 17 marathons in three years?! Wow.

There are many out there that don't understand the love of running a lot of us have. That's alright, I am sure that they have hobbies or loves that we can't understand.

It sounds like you are having a rough time but can't talk about all of it online, which I can completely understand. I do hope it gets better for you, and as the other person, RBR, said, it does help to write through it and get it out on paper (or on your blog.) Sometimes the act of writing something down takes the power away from it, or its hold over you.