Monday, August 25, 2008

Falling off the wagon

So after my live marathon blogging about how I'm appalled that McDonalds would sponsor the Olympics, I have craved nothing else but a greasy 1/4 pound cheeseburger, extra large french fries and an ice cold Coke! I haven't had a cheeseburger in months, possibly years. I gave up soda months ago and haven't had a craving for a long time. What the F---! Is this Karma? Bad mouth some food and then you crave it? Hope I never talk about those fried scorpions I saw on the Olympics (Damn, that doesn't count does it?).

So I missed my long run yesterday and that began the plunge to a level of indulgence not seen before in the body of Willie since he was 14 and discovered alcohol for the first time.

First I sat on the couch and ate a whole bag of crackers. COVERED IN THAT SOUTHWESTERN SALSA DIP!

Then I decided to eat some cookies, not sure how many. Oh and an ice cream sandwich. Oh and some chicken and BBQ sauce. Oh and some coleslaw of course.

Then we went to church (yes I go. I even make it through the door without lightning striking. Sometimes.) and took the kids to, yep, you guessed it, McDonalds. Well that was too much and I gave in and got the #3, supersized, with a COKE! I gulped that Coke down so fast and it was so good. Oh, how I missed a good cold Coke! I had to inhale the burger so I wouldn't have second thoughts. It was like jumping in the pool, you just have to do it quick and get it over with or you might not do it! 3-4 bites and that baby was gone. Oh the guilt!! Oh the remorse!! I'm so bad, I can't be a runner and eat like that!!

So then we went to Taco Bell. 

Chalupa, and it wasn't CHICKEN! It was beef, Oh I'm such a failure! Beef for goodness sake, from a real cow (probably). How could I?

Look away, I'm hideous! Look away!

I was supposed to start my Boston Marathon training program tomorrow. 3 mile repeats, each in 6:12. Oh what to do, I'll never make that now! I didn't run all last week and I missed my long run this weekend and I ate crap! Boston? Yea right, I'll never make it out the door!

My Sacrifice

To add to my demise, my wife told me I have to go to open house tonight at my oldest son's school. Ahhhh! I hate open houses. I went last year and it was horrible. No one spoke to me and I was surrounded by moms who asked questions of the teachers and knew what they were doing. I was lost. I just wanted to leave. 

So tonight I'll go again and tomorrow my wife will ask me question. Questions like, "what are his teachers like?", "did you get all their contact information?", "did you go to the right classes?", "did you go to the right grade?", "did you go to the right SCHOOL?". She'll have no sympathy for my pain at all. She will never know how painful this was. It's OK, don't cry for me, I am used to sacrifice for my family. That's just how I am, I give to my three, no two, kids.

Thanks for listening   but LOOK AWAY!!  


Calyx Meredith said...

Ha ha! One open house equals = a complete fast food binge. I like it. (And I think thou doth protest too much, Mr. Reluctant PTA Dad.)

JenZen said...

PUHAHAHA - OMG. Glad to know I'm not the ONLY one. I don't feel quite so guilty about my Cheesecake Factory humongous piece of cheesecake with whipped cream. Sometimes you just gotta live. I haven't had a hamburger in ages (I gave up beef) or McDonalds for that matter. If I start craving it now, I'm coming after you! :-)

Steve Stenzel said...

MMmmmm... meat!