After 6 marathons this year I have come to understand my body so much better. One thing I have learned is that after running 26.2 miles my body takes complete control and no matter how hard I try it's useless to try and force it to do something it doesn't want to do. I believe it happens because my body is stripped bare and it resorts to primal, survival instincts.
Part of this process is a deep depression. It has happened after every marathon I've run. It takes a day or two to set in but it always shows up. I begin to feel worthless and wonder what value I have to anyone in this world. I can't seem to focus on anything but my numerous personal faults and why I can't fix myself and become a better person. This train of thought feeds on itself and, well, you get the picture. There isn't much I can do to prevent this from happening so usually I just withdraw into myself and wait it out. Does this happen to anyone else?
Ok so this time I knew it was coming this time so I took some action to help deal with it.
I got tickets for my son and I to the Metallica concert in Tulsa!!
It was AWESOME! Oh My Goodness it was great. They absolutely rocked that place and we totally got into it. I've never screamed so loud, screamed so long, and banged my head that hard! I was able to totally revert to a teenager again and had a BLAST! I can't explain how great it was to act like a kid again with, well, my kid!
They turned the house lights on
My son jammin'
Some people were surprised to hear the Metallica was still around and playing concerts! I won't mention who would make a remark that would make me feel even older than I actually am but she lives South-of-a-Bay and she's a Girl!!! Yes James, Lairs, and Kirk are going bald but they are still playing GREAT rock and can still throw what's left of their hair around!
This little excursion into letting the teenager inside me loose helped keep my spirits up for a couple days but also made me very tired. We didn't get back home until 1:30 in the morning and I had to get up and go to work today. Couple the lack of sleep, ringing ears, no voice and sore throat, and some marathon-induced depression and Willie is a mess.
Which brings me to my next topic.
Runner dies in Tulsa Route 66 1/2 Marathon
After the marathon I heard from my buddy that he saw paramedics giving CPR to someone at the top of the biggest hill on the course. Turns out it was this guy and he didn't make it. Runner's World has a big spread about runners dying during marathons this month also. Our running club had a speaker scheduled to talk about running and heart attacks. Talk about coincidences. I don't really believe in coincidences so I'm a little worried that someone's trying to tell me something.
I'll apologize now for being insensitive but my first thought when faced with all this news of dying while running a marathon was, "What a wonderful way to go!". Maybe it's the depression coming through but I couldn't think of a better way to die. Go out for a nice long run and just not come back. That to me is so much better than laying in a hospital bed with tubes sticking out of me while some teenage doctor conducts experiments on what's left of the vessel that contains my soul. Give me a sudden heart attack on any mile after 13 (please let me at least get half way) and I'll go with a smile. My soul will finish the race.
Thanks for listening